Welcome, thanks for meeting me here. Together we can heal.

My IntroductoryPost

Why Me?

Crazy was what they called me in my hometown. Was it because of my unbridled emotions? Or because I wasn’t afraid to say what I felt. They called my mother crazy too. Was it because she raised me or because she gave birth to me?

As a child I was well behaved and prone to play alone. When school started however, it was apparent, immediately, that I did not fit in and by my teenage years my problems became real.

In my twenties and thirties I failed as mother and wife but not for lack of trying, I tried everything! Because I was undiagnosed and recieving no help for my mental illness I used drugs and alcohol to cope. Alcoholic and addict labels were added to Crazy, failure and bad mom.

Also in my 20’s, The doctors  decided I was depressed and gave me some antidepressants. In my 30’s They gave me benzos to cope (worse than any street drugs). By the time I was 40 my pain was expressing itself physically and I was put on pain medication. Despite the fact that I had experienced 5 traumatic events in my life and clearly had post traumatic stress disorder, no one ever mentioned treatment for mental illness. Instead I was given a combination of drugs that mixed with alcohol should have killed me.

By the time I was in my 50’s I was a displaced homemaker with a huge empty nest syndrome, homeless, jobless, hearing voices, screaming at the sky. Wandering around looking for a place I could belong. Ever look out your car window and see someone like that? How does she share what has happened to her? How does she sort it all out to make sense of it? How does she heal? How can we help her? How can she be reached?

 lucky for me, because of my desire to not be labeled anymore, I moved away and ended up in a state that had mental health facilities throughout. Which taught that one could recover from a mental illness. I remember one of my first Dr visits, I remember, I was in the waiting room, looking up at a poster that read the famous Chinese proverb “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single  step”.And so, I took that single first step and thousands more like it in the following decade.I have learned a lot and am writing this blog so that I may be able to walk along with you or your loved one who might be suffering.

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